I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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