***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
