Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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