This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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