My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
