yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Boobs are out for the taking
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
