Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize