do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
