his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
