so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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