she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
