Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
