I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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