why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
