3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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