He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
