When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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