dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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