She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
