I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
