i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
