dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
