Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
