your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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