3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
