I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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