Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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