Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
