Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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