fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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