My cat gives me a boner
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
