On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
