tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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