two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
