Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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