end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
what day is it and did you see me today?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
