fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize