either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
