Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
