I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
