Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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