what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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