Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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