i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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