Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think your dad took our porno
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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