He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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