he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need to sanitize my soul.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
