Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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