he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
