im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
