i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
