You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
