1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
