it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
There are leaves in my underwear?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
