its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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