Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
