you would pick up someone in the library
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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