the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize