Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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